He's never giving up on me.

Sunday, December 19 I left Worcester for Cape Town around 10am South Africa time (3am EST). Monday, December 20 around 3:30pm EST I pulled into my driveway.

Being home is surreal. Reverse culture shock is much more difficult to wrap my brain around.

After some good sleep and some time to process, I promise a blog is coming about my last few weeks in South Africa! For now, know that I am home safely and that our God is SO good and so faithful, even when we are not. We are FREE, we are ALIVE because He lives.

Isaiah 52:7-10

⁷ How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
“Your God reigns!”

⁹ Burst into songs of joy together,
you ruins of Jerusalem,
for the LORD has comforted his people,
he has redeemed Jerusalem.
¹⁰ The LORD will lay bare his holy arm
in the sight of all the nations,
and all the ends of the earth will see
the salvation of our God.

I can't take credit for writing this, but WOW. Let this truth sink in!

Father God, You tell Your flock to fear not, for it is Your good pleasure to give us the Kingdom (Luke 12:32). You tell Your children to dream, because You are able to do immeasurably more than ALL we could ask or even imagine (Ephesians 3:20). You tell us that You will give us life and give us life abundandtly (John 10:10). Oh how You love us! Oh how You love us!

Jesus, may our hearts defeat our minds! May we move past logic and reasoning, and get to our imagination, a place where we can see the things You've promised, and see them coming to pass. You say that It all will come to pass (Joshua 21:45), and that is what we pray. we pray that it all comes to pass. Those sweet sweet dreams You have put on our hearts, of things most would label impossible, but we know there is POWER in Your name! JESUS! We call upon the name of the Lord, the One who will save, the One who brings life! Bring us new life JESUS! Your name is power, and so we pray in Your Holy Name, JESUS! Let all our dreams come to pass, and then on top of that let YOUR dreams for us come to pass. You will do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine! Praise You Jesus! Holy Holy are You! You asked the blind men, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" And they replied, "Yes Lord!" (Matthew 9:28-29). We say YES LORD! We believe that You are able to do everything before us!

Holy Spirit, reign down upon us! We are open cups, ready to be filled! Fill us to overflowing! We do not want to walk in fear, doubt, discouragement, or unbelief any longer! Those things must leave in the mighty name of Jesus! So Holy Spirit, fall down upon us, let Your fire come and burn away anything not of You, and then fill us a fresh, to a new measure of fullness!

Come Lord Jesus Come! Send Your help. Send Your support! "He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the LORD was my support. He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me. The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me. For I have kept the ways of the LORD; I have not done evil by turning from my God. All his laws are before me; I have not turned away from his decrees. I have been blameless before him and have kept myself from sin. The LORD has rewarded me according to my righteousness, according to my cleanness in his sight. To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure, but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low. You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless." (from 2 Samuel 22)

Your word Oh LORD is flawless! With Your word you created everything. Thank You for the words You have spoken to us each individually, which brought us from death to life, which brought us from who we were, to who we are in You. Thank You for the words You have spoken to each of us, to call us to such a time as this. Thank You that through You speaking You have flung wide the gates of heaven to pour out so much blessing that we will not know what to do with it all. (Malachi 3:10).

So Lord Jesus, we thank you for the things we have seen, and the things we have not yet seen.

We thank You Lord that we will "go out in joy and be led forth in peace" (Isaiah 55:12). We pray in the mighty name of JESUS that we SEE all of the blessings You have given, and that we SEE them soon! Your Kingdom come! Your will be done! On earth as it is in HEAVEN! BRING HEAVEN TO EARTH! We press in to the Kingdom of God! We seek Your face, O God of Jacob!

"The LORD your God, who is going before you, will fight for you, before your very eyes" ! (Deuteronomy 1:30)

Let it ALL come to pass! Fight for us Jesus!

AMEN!

Amen means let it be done,

or so be it,

or it shall be so

or I believe it will be so!

So Jesus, with everything YOU have spoken to us, we say

LET IT BE DONE

SO BE IT

IT SHALL BE SO

I BELIEVE IT WILL BO SO

AMEN!

"Not one of all the LORD's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." (Joshua 21:45, NIV)

"Not a single one of all the good promises the LORD had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true." (NLV)

"Not one word of all the good promises that the LORD had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass." (ESV).

It's all about the LOVE.

As is the case most days when I sit down to write these things, I don’t know where to start. Rebecca-my roommate from college and one of my very closest friends and sisters in the Lord who is serving on the World Race for 11 months, check out her blog! - and I were discussing this via skype (a HUGE Thanksgiving blessing!!)...that after being away from home and in the midst of what God is doing where we are for some time, it starts becoming less about the blogs and the cool missionary stories and the sweet pictures. At first, all of that is exciting and motivating and surreal. But there comes a point, we’ve discovered, when there’s a change in our thinking and we just want more of God. More of who He is and more of Him in us. We both agreed we could go weeks without blogging or posting photos and be just fine. But, nevertheless, we DO want those at home and those close to our hearts to know what’s happening in our lives! So, here ya go. Buckle up, its a long one.

God is doing a LOT. In my heart, in my life, in the lives of the people around me, in this city, in His world. I have really been encouraged by the blogs of fellow brothers and sisters out in the world spreading the love of Jesus and sharing life with people of different cultures and countries. I have to say, I’m proud to be a part of this chosen generation! God’s children are rising up and bringing change and healing in the name of Jesus, and I’m proud to claim them as my family.

Friends, God has chosen us. He has called us up and out....up out of our comfort zones, up out of the familiar, up out of what we’ve known, and OUT into the deep with Him. He has called us out into the world, out into the hard places, out into knowing Him more, knowing His heart more. He has chosen us as His dearly loved children (if you’ve heard Louie Giglio talk about this, dearly loved is also translated as beloved. “Be” is the same as I am...and, as God is I AM that I AM, or BE, to be BEloved is to be God-loved. Louie is much more eloquent than I...check out his sermon series on seeing God as a Perfect Father www.passioncitychurch.com) It’s all about Jesus. It’s all about His love. Wherever we are, whatever continent or situation or season we find ourselves in.

I think I’m starting to get it. God has started a work in me that I pray NEVER ceases.

It’s ALL about LOVE.

That’s it! That’s what all of this is about. That’s what life is about, what knowing God is about, what living to serve is about. It’s all about LOVE. A real, tangible, deep down to your bones kinda love. I think I’ve preached this a million times, but I’ve never understood LOVE like I do now, which makes me giddy at the thought that there is SO much more to love to discover!

I read this on a World Race blog and it totally captures what God has been speaking to my heart these past 10 or so weeks.

There's nothing you can do that would make Him love you more,

There is also nothing you can do that would make Him love you less.

He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you,

because that is what He is like.

It is His nature to Love, and you will always be the beloved,

And his love is unchanging and He loves you a hundred percent

He won't love you any better when you become better

He loves you a hundred percent right now

And even if you have no plans to become better

He will still love you one hundred percent

Because He loves you because that's the way that He is

And even if you don't wanna change He will love you one hundred percent

And even if you haven no plans to walk with Him, He will love you one hundred percent

Because that's His nature, He loves all the way all the time

His love is unchanging

What will change says the Lord, is your ability to receive My Love.

And I want to cram some more of that ability inside you,

So I challenge you, says the Lord, open your heart to me

Open your heart to me and you will receive more of my love

than you have experienced before; I dare you too.

Give me your heart, give me whatever your obstacle is, I'll take it

I'll remove it out of the way because I love you as you are right now

I love you a hundred percent as you are right now this moment

I love you as you are

So be loved, you are the beloved, it is your job, says the Lord,

to be loved outrageously

it is why I chose you, why I set my love upon you

that you would live as one who is outrageously loved

That you would receive a radical love so radical that it will blow

all your paradigms of what you think love is

And know, says the Lord, I will love you outrageously all the days of your life

Because I don't know how to be any different, this is who I am,

and this is who I will always be

This is the I AM I promised you, I am He that loves you outrageously

And you may love me back with the Love that I give you

You may love me back outrageously with the outrageous Love that I bestow upon You

And know this, says the Lord, you can only love me as much as you love yourself

So my Love comes to set you free from yourself, free from how you see yourself

Set you free from the smallness of your own thinking about yourself

My love comes to set you free from rejection, and from shame,

and from low self-esteem, and from despair, and from abuse.

Because when I look at you, says the Lord, I see something that I love

I see someone that I can love outrageously, and i have so much to bestow upon You

So much to give you, so many places to take You in my heart, but you can't go there unless you allow me to love you, and my love for You will break every barrier,

every wall crashing down.

And know this, says the Lord, "My love damages fear!

My love hates fear, it will fight fear, fear in you, it will fight fear around You,

and if you have fear, says the Lord, then know you have a treat in store

Because My perfect Love casts out fear, there is no fear where I am present

Because My Love casts out fear. Beloved, you are my beloved, you are my beloved

And in my love I want you to feel good about yourself

- Graham Cooke

It’s about love.

He loved us first. We love Him back.

We love others with the love that He fills us with.

It’s about surrender.

As my sweet sister Rebecca put it, Jesus was willing to leave the perfection of heaven to walk this earth for me, for you, for ALL of us. When I think “God, why do you want me to speak to them? I don’t like preaching!” or “Really, God? I’m not quite feeling that today.” or “Um, hey, Jesus? WHAT am I doing here?!” , I want to always remember that Jesus most certainly did not feel like carrying His cross up a hill. He probably didn’t feel like being beating, broken, and crushed for me that day.

But He did it, willingly.

He did it because He LOVES me, because He was completely surrendered to the will of His Father.

He gave His life for me, can I not do so much as to offer up to Him the life He has so freely given me?

I don’t know what the next season of life holds for me. I’ve been offered a teaching position here in South Africa from Feb - Dec 2011, teaching grade 7 English and Math.

It is an understatement to say I really need and appreciate your prayers!!

I DO know that I want to surrender to the Lord all of my plans, my ideas of what my life should or could look like, my opinions and fears and questions. God is working in me to free me from settling for a life of complacency and normalcy, the life I have been so determined to have. I TRUST that God has a plan much bigger than me or my understanding, a plan for my good and for His glory in my life.

I just have to say, that with this HUGE decision looming I’m looking forward to some rest and being in the states! I’m SO excited to spend time with my family, to sit on my couch and drink coffee with my parents and my sister and debrief the last three months, to see my TIGERS and my Phi Lamb sisters and the dear, dear friends who are SO much a part of my heart and this journey and this work God is so graciously doing in me, to go to PASSION 2011 in Atlanta and be refreshed and renewed and reenergized with 20,000+ fellow Jesus seekers, and to get some perspective.