It's all about the LOVE.

As is the case most days when I sit down to write these things, I don’t know where to start. Rebecca-my roommate from college and one of my very closest friends and sisters in the Lord who is serving on the World Race for 11 months, check out her blog! - and I were discussing this via skype (a HUGE Thanksgiving blessing!!)...that after being away from home and in the midst of what God is doing where we are for some time, it starts becoming less about the blogs and the cool missionary stories and the sweet pictures. At first, all of that is exciting and motivating and surreal. But there comes a point, we’ve discovered, when there’s a change in our thinking and we just want more of God. More of who He is and more of Him in us. We both agreed we could go weeks without blogging or posting photos and be just fine. But, nevertheless, we DO want those at home and those close to our hearts to know what’s happening in our lives! So, here ya go. Buckle up, its a long one.

God is doing a LOT. In my heart, in my life, in the lives of the people around me, in this city, in His world. I have really been encouraged by the blogs of fellow brothers and sisters out in the world spreading the love of Jesus and sharing life with people of different cultures and countries. I have to say, I’m proud to be a part of this chosen generation! God’s children are rising up and bringing change and healing in the name of Jesus, and I’m proud to claim them as my family.

Friends, God has chosen us. He has called us up and out....up out of our comfort zones, up out of the familiar, up out of what we’ve known, and OUT into the deep with Him. He has called us out into the world, out into the hard places, out into knowing Him more, knowing His heart more. He has chosen us as His dearly loved children (if you’ve heard Louie Giglio talk about this, dearly loved is also translated as beloved. “Be” is the same as I am...and, as God is I AM that I AM, or BE, to be BEloved is to be God-loved. Louie is much more eloquent than I...check out his sermon series on seeing God as a Perfect Father www.passioncitychurch.com) It’s all about Jesus. It’s all about His love. Wherever we are, whatever continent or situation or season we find ourselves in.

I think I’m starting to get it. God has started a work in me that I pray NEVER ceases.

It’s ALL about LOVE.

That’s it! That’s what all of this is about. That’s what life is about, what knowing God is about, what living to serve is about. It’s all about LOVE. A real, tangible, deep down to your bones kinda love. I think I’ve preached this a million times, but I’ve never understood LOVE like I do now, which makes me giddy at the thought that there is SO much more to love to discover!

I read this on a World Race blog and it totally captures what God has been speaking to my heart these past 10 or so weeks.

There's nothing you can do that would make Him love you more,

There is also nothing you can do that would make Him love you less.

He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you, because He loves you,

because that is what He is like.

It is His nature to Love, and you will always be the beloved,

And his love is unchanging and He loves you a hundred percent

He won't love you any better when you become better

He loves you a hundred percent right now

And even if you have no plans to become better

He will still love you one hundred percent

Because He loves you because that's the way that He is

And even if you don't wanna change He will love you one hundred percent

And even if you haven no plans to walk with Him, He will love you one hundred percent

Because that's His nature, He loves all the way all the time

His love is unchanging

What will change says the Lord, is your ability to receive My Love.

And I want to cram some more of that ability inside you,

So I challenge you, says the Lord, open your heart to me

Open your heart to me and you will receive more of my love

than you have experienced before; I dare you too.

Give me your heart, give me whatever your obstacle is, I'll take it

I'll remove it out of the way because I love you as you are right now

I love you a hundred percent as you are right now this moment

I love you as you are

So be loved, you are the beloved, it is your job, says the Lord,

to be loved outrageously

it is why I chose you, why I set my love upon you

that you would live as one who is outrageously loved

That you would receive a radical love so radical that it will blow

all your paradigms of what you think love is

And know, says the Lord, I will love you outrageously all the days of your life

Because I don't know how to be any different, this is who I am,

and this is who I will always be

This is the I AM I promised you, I am He that loves you outrageously

And you may love me back with the Love that I give you

You may love me back outrageously with the outrageous Love that I bestow upon You

And know this, says the Lord, you can only love me as much as you love yourself

So my Love comes to set you free from yourself, free from how you see yourself

Set you free from the smallness of your own thinking about yourself

My love comes to set you free from rejection, and from shame,

and from low self-esteem, and from despair, and from abuse.

Because when I look at you, says the Lord, I see something that I love

I see someone that I can love outrageously, and i have so much to bestow upon You

So much to give you, so many places to take You in my heart, but you can't go there unless you allow me to love you, and my love for You will break every barrier,

every wall crashing down.

And know this, says the Lord, "My love damages fear!

My love hates fear, it will fight fear, fear in you, it will fight fear around You,

and if you have fear, says the Lord, then know you have a treat in store

Because My perfect Love casts out fear, there is no fear where I am present

Because My Love casts out fear. Beloved, you are my beloved, you are my beloved

And in my love I want you to feel good about yourself

- Graham Cooke

It’s about love.

He loved us first. We love Him back.

We love others with the love that He fills us with.

It’s about surrender.

As my sweet sister Rebecca put it, Jesus was willing to leave the perfection of heaven to walk this earth for me, for you, for ALL of us. When I think “God, why do you want me to speak to them? I don’t like preaching!” or “Really, God? I’m not quite feeling that today.” or “Um, hey, Jesus? WHAT am I doing here?!” , I want to always remember that Jesus most certainly did not feel like carrying His cross up a hill. He probably didn’t feel like being beating, broken, and crushed for me that day.

But He did it, willingly.

He did it because He LOVES me, because He was completely surrendered to the will of His Father.

He gave His life for me, can I not do so much as to offer up to Him the life He has so freely given me?

I don’t know what the next season of life holds for me. I’ve been offered a teaching position here in South Africa from Feb - Dec 2011, teaching grade 7 English and Math.

It is an understatement to say I really need and appreciate your prayers!!

I DO know that I want to surrender to the Lord all of my plans, my ideas of what my life should or could look like, my opinions and fears and questions. God is working in me to free me from settling for a life of complacency and normalcy, the life I have been so determined to have. I TRUST that God has a plan much bigger than me or my understanding, a plan for my good and for His glory in my life.

I just have to say, that with this HUGE decision looming I’m looking forward to some rest and being in the states! I’m SO excited to spend time with my family, to sit on my couch and drink coffee with my parents and my sister and debrief the last three months, to see my TIGERS and my Phi Lamb sisters and the dear, dear friends who are SO much a part of my heart and this journey and this work God is so graciously doing in me, to go to PASSION 2011 in Atlanta and be refreshed and renewed and reenergized with 20,000+ fellow Jesus seekers, and to get some perspective.

I am blessed!

I realized I hadn't talked much about what I've actually been up to recently, so here's just a glimpse of how I get to spend my days:

- I'm in Worcester Primary School from 7:10am-1:30am every day, usually with grade 7.5 but sometimes filling in in grade 6 or grade 5 classrooms. The "form the corn, form form the corn" song is quite a hit.

- I've taught cheerleading in three different places so far...to the rhythmic gymnasts of Elite Gymnastics at WPS, to the grade 7 leaders of the Blue house for Worcester-Oos (Oos = East) Primary, and in the community to basically whoever wants to learn. I definitely did not think cheerleading would be a skill I used in Africa, and while I'm missing my Tiger ambush each time I teach I really LOVE getting to spend this time with the kids!

- On Thursdays (and some other days) we head into the community and have praise and worship, Bible teaching, and food distribution. The kids are so willing to teach me Afrikaans and so patient when I can't say anything right. They demonstrate the Acts church idea in such a real way by making sure that the littlest ones are cared for and they share everything. They are always waiting with open arms to be thrown in the air and hugged and kissed. My heart has been captured by the beautiful children there...pictures and words will never do justice to what God is doing in that place, in my heart, and through those beautiful, beautiful kids. I LOVE THEM and I can't imagine leaving them!

- I've gotten to pray with patients and parents in the children's ward of the hospital, which has been really powerful and a sweet time of communion with Jesus.

- On Tuesday mornings we get to lead Bible studies in WPS. Yes, we get to preach the Word FREELY in school! This is an awesome chance to share truth and my heart with the kids, and their worship is so refreshing. There is nothing like African harmony, that is for sure!

- I live with the two cutest girls in South Africa, I'm pretty sure. Simile and Halo are so precious and they can always make me laugh! Simile tells everyone that we're best friends...it's true. She loves looking at my pictures and naming all of my friends and family. I love the sweet time we get to spend together.

- I've also gotten to spend time traveling in the Western Cape, which has been so great! We have been to Cape Town, Cape Point and Cape of Good Hope, Hermanus, Muizenberg/Fish Hoek, Wellington/Stellenbosch, and I'm sure more places that I'm forgetting. This really is SUCH a beautiful country!

I know I'm leaving things out, but I just want to give you a glimpse of what God is doing here. THANK YOU for your prayers and support, without you this would NOT be possible! I cannot express my gratitude for all of the love and encouragement you guys have been pouring into me...through emails, letters, packages, and prayers! You are AWESOME and you are such a huge part of what God is doing here in my heart and in the lives of others. The Kingdom that we are building is unshakeable...praise God! (Heb 12:28) THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love. Eph 4:15-16

clinging to the cross

You are MORE, You are MORE than my words will ever say.

You are Lord, You are LORD! all creation will proclaim.

You are here, You are HERE, in Your presence I’m made whole.

You are GOD, You ARE God, of all else I’m letting go!

These lyrics have been ringing in my heart over the past few days. This is what God brought me to Africa to teach me...IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. I know I’ve said it before, but sometimes we have to preach these things to ourselves over and over, to remind ourselves daily of truths like this. And my teacher friends can stand by me and agree that repetition by EXPERIENCE is the best way to learn something!

Next to the sticky note on my mirror that says “Do not forget in the darkness what you’ve been promised in the light” hangs one that says “Cling to the cross!”.

I have heard this and surely preached it to who knows how many of campers over the years, but I have never known what it truly looks like to actually cling to the cross, to put my hope and my assurance in the hands of my Maker, to look at God and say “I know I can’t, but I KNOW You CAN!”. And that is precisely what I am learning here. There is SO much need, so much hurt, so much that I want to fix. And it is here that I have been humbled to realize that I can do nothing. ONLY Jesus can bring healing, hope, and restoration. I can offer myself, this life I’ve been giving, as a sacrifice to the Living God and say “Use me!” but even then, it’s still nothing of me. Nothing I can do or say or give or bring can heal a single person, can raise a life, can save a soul. BUT. I know the One who CAN, and in that there is POWER!

So, I write to say that I truly desire to lay me down. I lay my independence and attempts at self-sufficiency, my ambitions and dreams, my heart and my hands at the cross. I’m NOT saying this to glorify myself, or so that you’ll think “Wow, Sara is such a great missionary, she’s doing such great things.” I’m telling you, it’s NOT about me. It’s nothing that I’m doing. I’m just responding to what I read in the Bible when Jesus says to feed His sheep (John 21:17) and I hope that you are doing the same, wherever you find yourself in this season.

I am thankful that God is compassionate towards me, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness (Ex 34:6) as I learn these lessons. I am thankful to be learning these lessons! I am thankful to be in Africa, to live out dreams and have new ones breathed into my heart by our Creator. I am thankful to have a fresh start and learn what it means to keep in step with the Spirit (Gal 5:25). I am thankful that when I ask, God is willing and gracious enough to give me more of His heart. I am thankful, most of all, for the cross, which calls us to come and die, to lay down our lives so that we may find LIFE.

the windy city

Whoever said Chicago was the windy city clearly never came to Worcester. My gosh! In just a matter of minutes the wind can go from a light breeze to a gale force blast. I LOVE IT. It is a constant reminder of the power and awesomeness of our God. Whenever He pleases, He just stirs up a mighty wind and blows it through the mountains and into our lives. I don't know about you, but I haven't been stirring up any hurricanes or anything lately....God is SO much bigger than our tiny little minds can even begin to comprehend!

The wind also reminds me that God is always doing something new, something fresh. Last night I fell asleep just as the wind was picking up, and I was reminded that a new day was coming; a new chance to tell people that they are loved and valued, a new chance to shine light into darkness, a new chance to live for a purpose, for the God of the universe and His mighty plan in this place.

I have been reminded this week that I am a child of God - Gal 4:4-7 - and because of Christ I have received full rights as a daughter of the King! I can rest assured that God knows my heart (because He created it) and is constantly moving and working. The more I delight myself in the Lord, the more of Himself He reveals...and THAT is becoming more and more the desire of my heart! Funny how we take that for granted sometimes, eh? HE IS who His Word says HE IS, and He is FAITHFUL to do what His Word says He'll do! Hallelujah!

Africa gives me hope.

I’ve been meaning to write a blog for a few days now, but I wasn’t quite sure what the Lord wanted me to say or how I would put into words everything God is doing in me and in this place. I say none of this to glorify myself in any way, but to make known how GREAT our GOD is!! The more I am challenged to put my faith in my God and not in the things of this world or my own strength, the more freedom He has in my life to show up in mighty ways. It has been my prayer that God would break open the box I try to keep Him in, that He would shatter my attempts to make Him feeble and unable and reveal WHO He is - Healer, Provider, Protector, Savior, Friend!

Heb 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

hope: noun

1 a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen

• a person or thing that may help or save someone

• grounds for believing that something good may happen

2 a feeling of trust

Walking with God in South Africa gives me HOPE.

I have HOPE that God is always GOOD,

always WORKING,

always in the midst of whatever we’re going through

and holding our hand

whether we’re dancing for joy

or barely hanging on.

I believe that He has given us hope so that we will expect great things from an unbelievably great God. I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good, and I choose to put my hope in HIM.

What has God been doing here, you may ask? Well, let me brag on my Savior!

• We had a divine appointment on a random walk to learn of a sweet daughter of the King who had heard some lies from the enemy and wound up in the hospital. Praise God that He is bigger than hospital visiting hour rules and big scary security guards and can bring healing and restoration whenever He choses! We were able to pray over and speak life into our sister despite the obstacles. I have hope that He who is in us is greater than He who is in the world and Jesus always gets the victory.

• Each week at our soup kitchen in Avian Park, God faithfully makes sure each hungry belly gets food no matter how many kids we round up with their “buckes” (bowls...or tupperware, or empty ice cream containers, whatever they have) for “kos”(food). We gather with precious children and sing praises to our great High Priest who is so aware of and familiar with our needs. It hurts my heart to see the way these children live, but it gives me hope that Jesus can redeem any situation and bring light to shatter any darkness.

• I got to spend a day in Cape Town with Eva while Fola visited friends at the Lausanne Conference....what a beautiful city! We ate delicious food while overlooking the beach and had REAL coffee and yummy dessert and some much needed girl time. AND God totally surprised me and blessed me when I ran into a friend from UF at the conference! It was definitely a specific answer to prayer and so encouraging. I have hope that God knows this heart that He created and He works all things for my good.

• He is teaching me the art of following those who are wiser than I instead of always being in charge or constantly on a schedule. I am learning obedience and patience in very real ways...it’s definitely not always easy! I have hope that I will not leave Africa as the same person that came here 5 weeks ago.

• It’s Holy Spirit week at the YWAM base which means we get lots of teachings about the power and presence of the Spirit. We had an incredible night in the presence of the Spirit; the glory of the Lord was so intense and so so real! And we had a giving night, where people gave things to each other as an act of worship. Some gave encouraging gifts, some gave precious heirlooms, one girl received her first pair of gold earrings in her life from a dear woman who got them when she lived in Jordan (she was robbed and they were one of the few pieces of fine jewelry that weren’t taken), people received money and cameras and cell phones and funds for a car! My small act of giving brought a lot of giggles...my friend Janel (from Montreat College!) gave our sister Peggy (here with a team from YWAM in Texas) her watch when Peggy mentioned that she had forgotten to pack hers. This summer when I was in California I lost my watch and had to purchase a new one. When I was packing for Africa I found my old watch and wound up bringing both. As I watched Janel give Peggy her watch, I realized God had given me two watches so that I could give one away! We laughed and prayed together and thanked God that He could unite our hearts in such a simple yet profound way. I have hope that God sees the heart of our giving and is in the midst of our simple acts of worship before a holy God.

• I met a girl named De-monique in one of the areas we were ministering in a few days ago. She was 12 and so full of life - we became best friends instantly. She kept her arm around me for most of the time we were there, until her friends dragged her off to play in a ditch. When the Texas team started their street drama, I went to find her because I felt like she really needed to see and hear the message they were presenting (I hadn’t seen it yet but I heard it was powerful!) At the end, De-monique gave her life to the Lord and I got to hug her as she prayed for Jesus to come into her heart! She only let 2 little tears run down her cheek, but it was so evident that Jesus had entered her heart and made her a new creation in that instant. I have hope that I’ll see her again and that she will continue to grow in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man, because our God is good and He has written De-monique’s name on His hand and in His book of Life!

• I HAVE HOPE because as hard as my first two weeks here were, the past three have been three times as sweet! I definitely miss my family and friends like crazy, but God is filling the hurting places with Himself and nurturing a love and passion for this place and these people. Whether I’m teaching cheerleading, grading math exams (just finished grading a 3 page exam for 37 students...whoo!), holding and hugging sweet children, or just hanging out with Simile and Halo coloring in our princess coloring book and looking at my pictures, I LOVE living in South Africa! I came across this blog http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/ and was so comforted to know that other people have felt the same way I have when moving to a new country...the first few weeks are “Really Lord??” and then He changes our hearts to say “REALLY! LORD!” I have HOPE that God is doing a good thing here!

Can I just encourage you to put your hope in Christ? Colossians 1 tells us that Christ in us is the hope of glory. Romans 12 says that we should be joyful in hope! The Word encourages us over and over again to put our hope in God, in His promises and His faithfulness. Hebrews 6:19 says “We have this HOPE as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain”. Oh that our HOPE in the Lord would draw us deeper and deeper into the presence of and communion with the Living God! Thank You, Jesus, that You are our hope and that we walk through this life with our name written on Your hands. That, my friends, gives me hope.

standing in the gap

My first full week in the classroom after the concert craziness has been just that - FULL! Rather than teaching all 7th grade maths, I’m now working specifically with 7.5, a class of 36 7th grade students that are taught in English for all 7 periods. (Each grade in Worcester Primary School - WPS - has 4 classes. .1 and .2 classes are taught in Afrikaans, with the .1s being the higher achievers, and .4 and .5 classes taught in English, with .4s being the higher achievers) My students come from a variety of socioeconomic groups and ethnicities - Afrikaans, Xhosa, Portuguese and Arabic to name a few. There is one white boy, a few Indian students, 5 Muslims, and the rest are split between Afrikaans colored and Xhosa black students. They are the “lower achieving group” of the two English-taught 7th grade classes and they are known as the trouble-makers.

I.LOVE.THEM.

At first, I was quite intimated to hear their reputation in the school and then to be told that I’ll be with them from 7:30am-1:30pm every day. Granted, there is another teacher in the room most of the time, but sometimes it’s just me and them...just one of me and 36 of them. To say I am relying on God’s grace is not an understandment, but God is giving me a glimpse of His heart for them. It hurts my heart to see the despair in some of their eyes and to hear them talk about how they know people don’t think they’ll amount to much. God has given them passions and dreams and He has created them to be wonderful, unique, incredible individuals with hopes and gifts - I BELIEVE that He has SO much more for them than the implied limits that have been holding them captive.

God gave me 1 Tim 2:1 in the staff room on Thursday. It says “I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them, intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.” He also reminded me of Col 4:2-6, verses I hung on to my first summer on FCC staff. I know He is calling me to standing in the gap for these kids. I desperately want to breathe HOPE back into 7.5. They are such funny kids, and although they talk ALL the time, they have a voice worth hearing (just preferably not while a teacher is talking) and dreams that deserve a chance to be lived out! And they really aren’t all trouble makers. I love them. I’m praying God will continue to grow my heart for them and that He’ll be able to reach out and love them as I lay me down and let Him have His way in my life.

Will you join me in praying for 7.5? Pray that God’s light would burst into that class, that chains of poverty and false religion would be shattered and that these students would be an example of Christ’s love to each other and to their school. Pray that they would know the power and the unfailing love of our Savior.

Yute-Ludumo-Tiffany-Tsep-Thando-Lutho-Ricardo-Adiaan-Enzo-Tarryn-Ovayo-Ayyoob-Margo-Jody-Yasar-Andisiwe-Farzanah-Previn-Petronella-Sisipho-Phumeza-Khanysia-Zintle-Mmasebolelo-Leloka-Dimpho-Sanele-Zikhona-Uquamile-Basheera-Pritesh-Stuart-Ayaka-Wilmay-Z’nita-Carla

put on the full armor!

Oh, what to say! My first full week in school was wonderful - tiring, but wonderful. I LOVE the teachers I’m working with and I’ve been blessed with some really great conversations and encouraging words spoken into my life by sisters in Christ. We start every morning in the Word as a staff (and it’s NOT a Christian school!) and then we share a word with our students. Its awesome. I’ve never been in a school where anything like this has happened so it’s been really fun for me! This week the school put on a concert/play and I earned a spot as a make-up artist. I loved getting face time with the kids and talking to them outside of my teacher role. (They call me Teacher Sara, and once again my 5th graders informed me that my name means princess so they should call me Teacher Princess. I told them I’d respond to either. :) ) I start teaching grade 7 math on Monday and I’m really pumped to get to know these kids better and speak into their lives.

This week I’ve been battling doubt. Really, it’s something I’ve battled for a while now, but it became really apparent this week. “Lord, I do believe...help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9) has been my cry. I want to pray and NOT doubt that what I’m praying for WILL happen. I’ve been so tempted to think “What if God doesn’t come through? What if I pray for this healing/fear/whatever and it doesn’t happen the way I’m hoping?” Today in church the Lord spoke directly to this. We read through Eph 6:10-18 (one of the arrangement was a complete set of armor made from bamboo and flowers!) The Lord revealed to me that when we’re not in prayer and ready for battle, the enemy gets the victory. Satan wants to make the warriors of Light doubt their God and fear that God may be weak, that the God in whom they trust may not fight for them.

But friends, the God of the Angel Armies fights for us!! Hallelujah! We can TRUST that God is standing with us -Psalm 59 - and that the victory IS the Lords....scripture tells us this over and over! (And I’ve learned that when God really wants us to get something, He doesn’t just say it once. He repeats it throughout His word across both testaments to remind us that HE IS FAITHFUL to be who He says He is!) We have to put on the full armor of the Lord and be ready for battle.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=re5t4GOYBn8

I have seen God come and stand before my fears and slowly but surely begin to melt them away. I have heard the testimonies of what He is doing here in Worcester. And I want to be a part. I want to fight for the kingdom and be a warrior of light, confident that my God will come through for me. And no matter what, He will get the glory when our hearts are humbled and our minds fixed on Him. Amen.