You are MORE, You are MORE than my words will ever say.
You are Lord, You are LORD! all creation will proclaim.
You are here, You are HERE, in Your presence I’m made whole.
You are GOD, You ARE God, of all else I’m letting go!
These lyrics have been ringing in my heart over the past few days. This is what God brought me to Africa to teach me...IT’S NOT ABOUT ME. I know I’ve said it before, but sometimes we have to preach these things to ourselves over and over, to remind ourselves daily of truths like this. And my teacher friends can stand by me and agree that repetition by EXPERIENCE is the best way to learn something!
Next to the sticky note on my mirror that says “Do not forget in the darkness what you’ve been promised in the light” hangs one that says “Cling to the cross!”.
I have heard this and surely preached it to who knows how many of campers over the years, but I have never known what it truly looks like to actually cling to the cross, to put my hope and my assurance in the hands of my Maker, to look at God and say “I know I can’t, but I KNOW You CAN!”. And that is precisely what I am learning here. There is SO much need, so much hurt, so much that I want to fix. And it is here that I have been humbled to realize that I can do nothing. ONLY Jesus can bring healing, hope, and restoration. I can offer myself, this life I’ve been giving, as a sacrifice to the Living God and say “Use me!” but even then, it’s still nothing of me. Nothing I can do or say or give or bring can heal a single person, can raise a life, can save a soul. BUT. I know the One who CAN, and in that there is POWER!
So, I write to say that I truly desire to lay me down. I lay my independence and attempts at self-sufficiency, my ambitions and dreams, my heart and my hands at the cross. I’m NOT saying this to glorify myself, or so that you’ll think “Wow, Sara is such a great missionary, she’s doing such great things.” I’m telling you, it’s NOT about me. It’s nothing that I’m doing. I’m just responding to what I read in the Bible when Jesus says to feed His sheep (John 21:17) and I hope that you are doing the same, wherever you find yourself in this season.
I am thankful that God is compassionate towards me, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness (Ex 34:6) as I learn these lessons. I am thankful to be learning these lessons! I am thankful to be in Africa, to live out dreams and have new ones breathed into my heart by our Creator. I am thankful to have a fresh start and learn what it means to keep in step with the Spirit (Gal 5:25). I am thankful that when I ask, God is willing and gracious enough to give me more of His heart. I am thankful, most of all, for the cross, which calls us to come and die, to lay down our lives so that we may find LIFE.
:)
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